Randomly write

 Yup, I am not consistent with my writing or journaling. I hope I am more consistent this year. 

So, it has been few months since my last post (as always) hehe. It's 2022 now. New year, new me, new habit, new goals or just continue pursuing the same goals Hmm. Shake my head.

Currently doing good with my lab work. Supervisor is okay, labmate is awesome, study is okay. No pressure for now because my supervisor really trust me to do what I have to do. Even I don't believe in myself like they do. I keep telling myself that I can do this, and I pray really hard I will finish my PhD. I will finish what I have started.

In terms of spritual, I started to pray 5 times a day. I started to trust Him more. I pray that I will trust him continually even in my hardest moment. Because, deep down I know, He is the best planner after all. He knows what we don't. He can make something happen if He wants. I hope I will be this person and even better in the next months, years, and forever.

Hm, in terms of love life. I'm still single. Why no one likes me? Brb crying a river. Joke, when someone like me, I don't like them. When I like someone, they don't like me. That's life I guess. And I just got rejected by A bukan nama sebenar. He said don't like him, he already has someone yet he came to my house? Confused with his actions hmm. Anyway, I am persistent, I always make efforts if I want something including go for someone I like. But now, I am more to if you don't like me it's okay. I will not chase you. I will let you go. If you are mine, then you are mine eventually. If you are not, someone better will be with me. I train my mind to think like that because I know I am such an ass when it comes to men and it doesn't look sexy. 

I went through hell before this, and last year is the last year that I will make effort for someone who don't want me or someone who make me as an option. I will be happy with or without you. I will be someone like that. Aku tak lemah!!! Plus, it's their lost to lose me. Definitely not mine for I know how awesome I can be when I love someone.

Ganbatte ne Nasyita dalam mencari jodoh. Ya Allah, temukan aku dengan jodoh yang baik, sedap mata memandang, menerima aku seadanya, mampu membawaku ke jalanMu, dan stabil dari segi kewangan dan emosi. Berikan aku peluang untuk merasai alam perkahwinan. Amin.